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just thought I'd let you know
Posted By: tiredtim About Me
Posted On: 6/30/2008 12:55:46 AM

Hey ladies and any gents out there,

I thought I should let you know somethings. First off, God's been really kicking my behind lately and it's not been an easy thing. God really used some things in my life to reveal that I hadn't really dealt with the pain that I had gone through from a church from my teenage years. It's been a tough thing to realize that it was just beneath the surface of my skin. Because of this, it spilled over into how I viewed one of my friends in leadership at church. Even though I maybe right, the things from my past were really projected on to him. Some of the symptoms that I was experiencing with my buddy was because they were reminiscent of things that happened at my old church that really hurt my family. But as I said, God's really dug it up and is dealing with me on it and the healing I believe is finally beginning.

Along with this though, I had something else happen and it happened today. My girlfriend and I broke up. We are still friends though that might take a little bit of time getting used to though she and I were friends for 5 years before we started dating. I really did want to see this through and have it end up in marriage, but at the moment that's not God's plans as what we've seen. She talked with me today and told me that she felt that God was taking each of us in different directions from each other. She's pursuing her calling to international conflict resolution (there's a cooler name for it, but I can't remember it for the life of me). While, I on the other hand am going to be starting up a Sunday school class for Young Adults in my church. I feel called to that by God, so I got to do what He's told me to do. With us going in those very different directions, she didn't feel it would be safe if she actually gets to go and do that, cause she'd be off to other countries all the time while I'm be still here. It totally sucks. I know I loved her and still do, but I can't just say "No." That would just make things worse and I don't want worse things. I want to still be her friend and be there for her. I actually think that this will take a lot of getting used to. Especially since a lot of people knew we were dating and knew that we hung out and sat together at church. I feel like I've let down people again, and I really don't know how to deal with that. I've all ready told her that I'd be talking with my friends and telling them to treat her like a great friend cause that's what she is and she agreed to do the same thing. It's tough, but I know that that is the right thing to do. This doesn't make things any easier. I am at a certain level of peace, but I just wish God for once would give me what I want rather than losing things like I feel I have always lost. All I can do is rest in God, but that alone right now is not easy at all.

Message Thread
Current Message Is In Bold.

just thought I'd let you know (tiredtim - 6/30)
Hey Tim (icometoworship - 7/1)
whew tough times (tiredtim - 7/6)
whew tough times (icometoworship - 7/7)
whew tough times (Rose - 7/7)
whew tough times (flutest - 7/8)
I remember you! (littlebitseu - 7/9)
Me too!! (Rose - 7/9)
soccer ma! (sassygirl - 7/10)

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