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I apologize
Posted By: tiredtim About Me
Posted On: 3/24/2007 8:47:20 PM

Hey ladies,

I'm sorry that I haven't been around at all. A week ago, some great things happened at church and then yesterday and today, some very bad things happened to me. I'll start with the good.

Last weekend, we had a prayer vigil at church starting at 6pm Saturday and going on until 9am Sunday. This was done in 3 hour shifts, so it went 6pm-9pm, 9pm-12am, 12am-3am, 3am-6am, and 6am-9am.

I had signed up for the 3am-6am shift, since I was asked to do so with my knowledge of the 24/7 prayer movement. I agreed, but I came the night before and got to the church at 9:15pm Saturday. We had rooms set aside for the teen girls and guys to sleep in after they did their shift from 12am-3am. I did my own Bible study there and then went to the room that was set up for the teens to pray in and started posting Scripture on the walls.

I joined the group that was praying at 10:30pm for the last 1 1/2 hours and then the teens got there. The previous shift prayed over the new shift. When that was done, I walked between the room the teens were praying in and the teen guy's room. I was praying with them and then listening to their prayers and then I'd leave the room and then come back a few minutes later. When I'd leave, words were floating through my mind and I was thinking that the words sounded interesting, but I knew that God hadn't given them to me. Well, the last time I entered the room, bam, I stopped dead in my tracks and realized God was speaking to me. I mean I just had this overwhelming sense of the Holy Spirit and that just freaked me out. God was telling me that the words WERE from Him and that it was time to be His mouthpiece.

You know what I told God "What are you doing God? You are freaking me out." and he goes "You said you'd walk through the doors I'd open for you recently, didn't you?" and I said "Yeah." and he goes "Well, then go and speak for Me."

At this point my whole body was shaking from the presence of the Holy Spirit being so strong in me. It felt like a billion butterflies swarming in my stomach and I was about to cry my eyes out. I walked over into the middle of the teens and tapped one of the guys, Tommy, I knew, if he would stand in agreement with me. And so he got up and said "Sure." Then his younger brother Michael came over and laid hands on me and then his older brother Doug came and laid hands on me. I told the guys that God wanted me to share a word and that I was freaking out and that I wanted to speak the words right. I looked over at Michael and he started to shake like I was shaking.

I opened my mouth and words came out that just floored me. I'm not gonna say what they are unless you want to know, but it's really for my church. If you want to know, I'll send it in an email, but I just don't think it's appropriate to post here.

Then, of course, last night I went about an hour away to celebrate my friend's birthday at a restaurant. After that we were gonna go to her place to see her new apartment. On the way there, it sounded like something dropped out of my car and my car lurched forward hard all of the sudden. I pulled over and checked, but nothing seemed wrong. So we pulled out and went a little farther and things again didn't sound right, so I pulled over...did this one more time and I finally said, that's enough.

I got my car towed to a shop and thankfully it didn't cost me anything cause it was a short distance. Then I went to my friend's place and spent the night. I got up this morning and went to the shop and they couldn't give me a time frame of when they were gonna get to look at my car. So my friend and I went to the mall and chilled there for a few hours.

We came back at 1pm to the shop and met with the head guy there and he told me that my timing belt was cracked badly, but that wasn't the worst of it. I was taken into the main place where they worked on the car. The guy in there told me that the biggest problem was that my transmission is blown.

So now, I have to wait to get an estimate this coming Monday as to how much it will cost to get replaced and fixed. He told me it could cost as much as $3,000 which is a lot. I'd be more ok with $1,000.

It's just hard because I've told God that I'm ready to use my gifts of writing lyrics and raps and that I'm ready and willing to walk through the doors that He opens for me. It's like "why did this have to happen now?" I just don't understand it. I've received such a peace when I told God that I'm ready to stop letting fear in the area of my raps, run my life and now I have this happen. But as a friend reminded in Scripture, "Trust in the Lord, with all your heart. And lean not on your own understand. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

So I just need some prayer to sustain me and prayer of discerment and wisdom of what to do once the guy calls me on Monday. Thanks.

Message Thread
Current Message Is In Bold.

ATTENTION!!! (icometoworship - 3/22)
ATTENTION!!! (Rose - 3/22)
ATTENTION!!! (icometoworship - 3/23)
I apologize (tiredtim - 3/24)
I apologize (Rose - 3/25)
I apologize (icometoworship - 3/29)

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